Mindfulness

What are your values?

Last month in the Refocus On Wellness group, we talked about values. I had the folks attending choose three values from the list I displayed on the screen and write their own definition of that value.

Here is the list that we used:

The purpose of this exercise is to live more intentionally and to filter our decisions and actions through those values to live with personal integrity. Studies have shown that affirming our values can lower our perception of stress and help keep us on track and aligned with our goals.

I often share my own choices with the group because I believe that vulnerability is what makes me a good leader. So the value I chose is honesty.

Honesty, to me, is about being vulnerable and transparent. And it’s a word that speaks to both my personal and my professional life. For example, I recently had a conversation with my teenagers after a disagreement that I had with my ex-husband. I am no longer shielding them from the co-parenting struggles because I believe they are old enough to understand and see the truth for themselves.

As for my professional life, it’s time that I am honest with my Bee Yoga Fusion community. 2020 was a challenging year for many people, but 2021 was even more difficult for small businesses. For the past six months, I have been running my business with my hands over my eyes. I did not want to see the numbers on my spreadsheet. But, having to get all my documents together to do my taxes forced me to finally look and see that Bee Yoga Fusion took an enormous loss in 2021. It was the first year BYF reported a loss in the twelves years that I have been in business, but it doesn’t feel good to see that large red number reminding me that we are still pivoting through a pandemic. So going forward I will be filtering my messages through the value of honesty.

If you are interested in joining the monthly conversation within Refocus on Wellness, you can sign up here; you will engage in thought-provoking discussions and receive access to exclusive on-demand yoga classes.

My Intention in 2022

Home Life, Mindfulness, Minimalism

Is to wear what I own.

I’m going to refrain from purchasing clothes, shoes, or handbags unless absolutely necessary. What would define “absolutely necessary“? A huge weight gain/loss or an event that I don’t already have an outfit to attend in my closet.

So why am I doing this? I could say it’s for environmental reasons, and partly it is. But to be honest with you…I’m in recovery, have been sober for nine years, and I’ve been observing myself shopping to numb the pain of this pandemic.

As a small business owner, I am exhausted. I’m tired of feeling at a loss on what to do with my yoga studio. Constantly assessing if and when people will feel comfortable taking a group class again, and keeping up to date with the ever-changing mandates. These last two years have been the hardest I have ever had to endure with my business, to not feel any of those hard emotions I’ve been masking it with shopping. Exactly what I use to do with alcohol. Which has been my wake-up call that there needs to be a shift.

I want an outlet to document this journey, to explore my relationship with shopping honestly and authentically. I hope you will follow along on Instagram as I take this journey! https://www.Instagram.com/schockgretchen Between clothes posts, I’ll also be posting home decor and craft projects that I hope to be focusing on rather than time spent online shopping.

Letting Go of Holiday Expectations

Mindfulness

I’m letting go of the expectation that this holiday season will be stress-free, seamless, or magical.

Don’t get me wrong; I’d like it to be stress-free! But right now, the landscape ahead looks a bit bumpy. Recently I had some significant bombs dropped within my yoga studio structure, and right now, I’m just breathing through it. So that’s what I encourage you to do, breathe through it.

When a person is pushing a baby out of their body, and I consider that the hardest physical thing I have ever done, we tell them to breathe. When a person is dealing with a profound loss and sobbing, you often see someone rubbing their back and telling them to take a deep breath. So many of us are experiencing the exact same emotions right now but just with different packaging, so to speak. Mine is a small business owner’s stress. Others might be family get-together anxiety or end-of-the-year depression.

We often have these expectations that the lights hung up around us create this magical feeling, but instead, I think it’s a nice reminder for all of us that we create our own magic. It’s not the month of the year or the decorations that adorn the rooms in your house. Instead, we have choices in how daily stresses affect us. And rather than trying to control the stress or the outcome, when we take notice of our breathing, we then automatically slow down and surrender.

Within the nine years of my sobriety, I often refer back to the steps when I face a hard time in life. The step that consistently feels hard for me is Step Three of Alcoholics Anonymous. It focuses on surrendering your will to a higher power. It isn’t until I’ve exhausted my need to control and organize and plan that I can finally surrender. And when I finally do surrender, I’m exhausted from the fight, and it’s then that I’m reminded, oh yeah, Step Three. I should have started there! Everyone’s version of a higher power is different, but we often get there the same way. Again the outside packaging might look different. You may be on your knees with your hands clasped, or taking a walk in nature, or sitting in the pews at church. But all versions of reaching a higher power begin with getting quiet and breathing.

Whether mentally complex or physically demanding, or both, we don’t have to have the answers right now. We must first breathe. We sit in the uncertainty and listen to our internal rhythm to tap into a deeper, higher power.

Today, this week, and into the new year, I am setting the intention to breathe. I know that my breath carries me on my yoga mat, and I can confidently assume it will carry me through this bumpy terrain ahead. So I’m going to focus on breathing and surrendering my expectations, allowing room for true magic to appear.

Are you being influenced by others?

Coaching, Mindfulness

Sitting in the seat of observation within yourself takes courage because it’s there where you can see a mirror shining back at you to see your own actions, missteps, and mistakes. This is a spiritual process.

Within many organized religions there is a dedicated day on the calendar that is reserved for atonement, making amends, and asking for forgiveness. In the sobriety and recovery worlds, this is Steps Eight and Nine. The symbolism connected to this process, whether for recovery or within your religious beliefs, is to inspire individuals to live a better life.

But we don’t need to wait for a particular day on the calendar. We don’t have to do Steps 1-7 before we take inventory of our life. We can sit in the seat of observation within ourselves at any time. The most important part of this process is to pull away from looking towards the outside world for acceptance and confirmation of our worth and instead look within yourself towards spirit. Take inventory of what is filling your social media feed on a daily basis. Are the images that appear in front of you making you feel good about yourself? Or are you looking at them and comparing your thighs to someone else’s, their organized, clean house to your living quarters, or their image of perfection to the ideas in your head of who you should be?

You are perfect, just as you are. Let go of the external energy that is not serving you to be your best self. And focus on the internal energy that is abundant within you. You are exactly where you are supposed to be!

I encourage you to take a moment today, regardless of your faith or sobriety, to sit in the seat of observation within yourself and look into the mirror shining back at you. Offer forgiveness and let go of that energy that is not serving you to be your best self.

Burn It to the Ground

Coaching, Mindfulness

This week in the Refocus on Wellness group, I asked this question, “what needs to be burned to the ground to make space for something new?”

Everyone who attended took a deep dive into vulnerability and was honest with themselves. Some folks mentioned needing to let go of other people’s expectations of them. They feel stressed out having to live up to some ridiculous ideal standard of themselves. Creating boundaries around work life and home life is a common theme among our members. It takes time to shift the mindset and lean into the belief that it’s okay that they can not be all things to all people. Others identified with the need to change their mindset around what their day should look like. And to allow room for more joy and time for spontaneous things to take place rather than being overscheduled.

One of the things for me that needs to be “burned down” is the entrepreneur hustle. I’m a “pull up your bootstraps and get back on that horse” type of girl. Some would say I’m resilient. But I’m also exhausted. My yoga studio was closed for 14 months due to the COVID-19 pandemic. I shifted to virtual classes immediately, teaching myself how to use zoom and create the best virtual environment for my clients with lighting, cameras, microphones, and internet speeds. We opened to in-person classes on May 10th, 2021, right when the rest of the world began to open its doors as well. So many of my clients put their memberships on hold to travel for the summer. Meanwhile, my rent was increased.

I’m exhausted from trying to keep my yoga studio afloat during the last year of the pandemic but also right now while I struggle to make ends meet.

I’m exhausted from pivoting.

So next week I’m taking a few days off from teaching yoga and seeing private clients. I rented a house on the water, and I’m going there by myself to write. I’m burning down the idea in my head that resilience is my superpower. Exhaustion is not healthy. Being overwhelmed is not a status symbol. Entrepreneurs who grind away their life on their work is not who I want to be.

I want to make room for my dream of finishing this book because I already have an idea for a second book that I’m excited to write.

What do you need to burn to the ground in order to make room for something new?

How to Emerge with Intention After the Covid-19 Pandemic

Mindfulness

The world is opening up around us. Maybe you are wrestling with how and when you will emerge. Or what it will look like for you and your family.

As we become braver with venturing out into the world, I encourage you to return to the places where you felt safe before the pandemic—the places where it felt like a second home. Where you felt like you belonged. Rather than jumping back into your pre-pandemic life and going full swing into the over-scheduled calendar for your family. Take a beat and think about what you want your life to look like going forward.

Do you want actually to return to the grocery store aisles?
Is spending time in your car in rush hour traffic speaking joy to you?
Think back to over a year ago; where did you retreat to when you needed a break from your busy life?

Was it your local yoga studio or gym? Was it a dinner date with a friend? Was it inviting friends over for dinner or going to the movies? Go to these places first!

We need community. We need to share space again. And it’s best if you try it now, while others are slowly venturing out too. But be particular about where and with whom you spend your time. Don’t fall into the trap of going back to your previous way of living. We all just had a challenging year, and there were lessons we learned along the way. Let’s not lose sight of them.

It’s time to return to the world outside of our homes, especially if you are vaccinated. Don’t wait too long to make this transition, or else the coming out into the world will feel overwhelming. Those spaces that you love will become busier as everyone else becomes brave with venturing out of their cocoons. Take a pause and move forward into your life with intention. Breathe. The first time you venture out into the world doesn’t have to be a “confetti falling from the sky” moment. It can simply be a Monday night yoga class or a coffee date at an outdoor cafe. Listen to the voice within you and go slow. There is no need to rush. But the time has come to move forward. So, where will you go first?