Minimalism

Five Super Simple Minimalist Experiments to Try for 30 Days

Rather than feeling like you have to subscribe to a movement of minimalism. What about trying it on for size by conducting an experiment for yourself?

When people imagine minimalism, they often think of bare walls and lots of counter space, which isn’t necessarily true. Being a minimalist doesn’t mean your house looks like you live in a model home or you only own one cup, one plate, and one set of utensils. I look at those examples as the extremes, and yes, there are people that go to that extreme in how they live their lives, but let’s be honest, that’s not the reality that most of us live in! Those extremes are primarily for attention, to grab the spotlight, and profess how amazingly minimalist they are.

I believe that subscribing to a minimalist lifestyle is about being intentional. And that intention carries into all aspects of your life. Your home, how you spend your time, clothing, and collections.

Yes, you can still be a collector and be a minimalist. For example, say you love comics. Rather than collecting all the comics that you can get your hands on, what if you decided that what you truly loved is vintage Superman comics? Of course, you would read and enjoy other comics, but rather than putting them on the shelf in your home, you would pass them along to someone else. Whether to another fan, your local buy-nothing group, or a free little library in your neighborhood. You would adopt the mindset of minimalism within your collection of vintage Superman comics by intentionally filling your bookshelf with what you truly love. Not just what happens to be there or what you can get your hands on.

An easy way to try minimalism on for size is by conducting an experiment for a set amount of time and seeing what it feels like for you, how you respond to the challenge, and if it changes your habits in how you live your life.

Here are five ideas to get you started with living an intentional minimalist lifestyle.

Putting the idea into practice for 30 days is a good idea. You don’t have to wait till the beginning of the month to start, though! Begin tomorrow and try it on for size for the next 30 days.

Eat the same thing for breakfast every single day. Pick an item that fills you up and sustains you for the morning. Removing this one decision you tend to make first thing in the morning frees your mind to wander and play. Savor the daydreams and embrace the security of knowing how the day will begin.
Turn off the television as background noise. Watching a show or movie is okay, but having the TV on in the background trains your brain not to listen. Several of my clients who have done this experiment noticed that the word “huh?” was removed entirely from their kids’ vocabulary! If you find yourself frustrated that you constantly have to repeat the question to your kids or spouse when you ask them something, try this experiment! Observing the sounds of your house, the thoughts in your head, and the space to think creatively by simply turning off the television is mind-blowing!
No-Buy Month. For thirty days, try living with what you have by not purchasing clothes, makeup, shoes, or accessories. If something comes up that you need to purchase, write it down on a list for when your thirty days are over or take a screenshot of the item to save for later. Oftentimes the great deal we see on something that we think we have to have isn’t a real need in our lives. This pause on shopping gives us space to see and acknowledge what we already own and how we can use it more effectively.
Clear the clutter. Pick one table and chair and clear the clutter from them. You don’t have to do every surface in your house right now! Just pick one table and chair. Maybe it’s the side table and chair that no one ever sits in in your living room. Or maybe it’s the dining room table and accompanying chairs. Or even the nightstand next to your bed and then your side of the bed can count as a chair in this experiment. Remove all items from the surface of the table, wipe it clean, and then only place back the things you absolutely need to live, or the things you would pack if you were going to a hotel. What to do with the things you cleared off? Put them away where they belong or place them in a reusable tote bag in a closet to go through after the 30 days are over.
Pick a day to unplug from something. Maybe you aren’t ready yet to completely put down the phone and unplug from everything for an entire day. I’ll be honest, in my day-to-day life it’s nearly impossible for me to unplug because texting with my wife and kids is how our family functions effectively with four people’s work and school schedules in order to do pick-ups and drop-offs. But when we are on vacation, I always look forward to unplugging. I love the feeling of being untethered. So a way that I have incorporated unplugging into my everyday week is to choose an app to unplug from for a day. Maybe it’s Facebook or Instagram or a game you obsessively play? Pick one and don’t look at it for an entire day, and continue doing that on the same day for a month. One of my clients has referred to it as her day of sabbath from social media.

Conducting these small experiments is a way to try an aspect of minimalism on for size, so to speak. It may inspire you to make more significant changes in your life and reevaluate how you are living. It can also allow you the space to evaluate how you spend your time, what you fill your home with, and who you enjoy being around. Making massive changes all at once is not a sustainable habit change, instead, small changes for a set amount of time gives you the opportunity to lean into the change and turn it into an intentional lifestyle.

Let me know in the comments what you choose to do this month!

Tackling the Clutter in Your Life

Coaching, Habit Change, Minimalism

As you look around the house, see the clutter, the mess, the disorganization…whatever we want to call it as a representation of our emotional state of being.

The clutter that is living on our countertops, and the piles of laundry, both clean and dirty, that have melded into each other that we now can’t tell the difference between the two. Or the drawers that hide all the things we don’t know what to do with but will get to organizing “someday.”

a picture of a messy desk that is unorganized

Some folks believe that the mess means that they are too busy living a fantastic life to care about what their house looks like. But I want to challenge that way of thinking. Let’s go back to the simple phrase; you must love yourself before you can love anyone else. You’ve heard it whisper off people’s lips at some point, and it’s repeated because it’s true. Loving ourselves is loving all aspects of our lives, including our homes. If we are neglecting cleaning, tidying up, and living in a functional space, it can mean that we are neglecting to feel emotions as well. Putting our heads in the sand, so to speak, so that we don’t have to deal with the realness of what we are feeling.

I’m not suggesting that you have to live in a white glove-clean type of house or that your home has to look showroom ready. But spending time each day to allow your home to work with you instead of against you. Beginning each day by living in a space that exudes feelings of happiness, calm, and peace allows you to go out into the world and interact with others by being in that emotional state. Imagine if you showed up to work or your kid’s swim team practice not in a frazzled, worried you forgot something state of being. But instead, feeling at ease both in your body and mind.

So before you get out the vacuum and break a sweat cleaning your whole house.

I want to offer you a real-life example from working with one of my life coaching clients to help you navigate and understand this work a bit better. The area of her home that would become disorganized was a part of her kitchen counter. It was where she would pile up the mail, receipts, and other important paper things that she would eventually get to when she found the time. It was an eyesore; everyone who came into her house would see it.

She had tried to put the things in a basket to hide or contain the paper, but eventually, that would become full and spill onto the counter. As we discussed this pile, it became clear that she didn’t want to deal with her feelings of shame because she had gone into credit card debt. She was highly educated, acquiring a Ph.D., and yet she couldn’t get a handle on her finances. As we continued to discuss the basket full of random bits of paper, she admitted that the whole thing made her feel stupid. And she was always labeled the “smart one” in the family among her siblings, so why couldn’t she get this under control?

So rather than buying yet another organizational system for her home. We needed to dive into the emotional work of understanding how she was feeling throughout her day. So for several days, she set a timer on her phone to go off at four different times throughout her day. Choosing times in which she’d be in various locations, first thing in the morning, midday at work, the time between eating dinner and going to bed, and right before her head hit the pillow. What we learned is that instead of scrolling and shopping, she began to take walks and do gentle stretches when the stress of work made her want to detach emotionally and buy buy buy.

Then, we needed to tackle how she dealt with her fiances. Together we created a system of how she would track her purchases so that she would feel more in control of her money.

After doing the emotional work and creating a solution to the problem area, it was only then that we could look at how to organize her mail better. Rather than dreading opening the mail, she began to feel proud of herself for moving in a better direction in her life.

I want you to look around your home and see where the clutter and disorganization tend to build up. If you are really honest with yourself, what does that clutter represent? And let’s not just point fingers at the other people we share a space with. Start with what you would say are your problem areas, and then we can tackle the kids’ backpacks and shoes.

Are you putting your head in the sand, so you don’t have to deal emotionally with the real problem? What do you think that clutter represents emotionally? Use the wheel below to identify the first feeling and work your way out or in, whichever is easiest for you. When I presented this to my client, the first emotion that she could identify with was “Stupid.” We worked our way backward, and she was surprised that that feeling stemmed from sadness. She wouldn’t identify herself as a sad person, per se. But after she gave it some thought, she could see the connection. But it wasn’t where she started, and that’s okay if we each use this tool differently.

The next step after identifying your emotions is to tackle the underlying issue. Going back to my client’s example, that is when we created a system to track her finances better and created an alternative of self-care rather than shopping. If you’d like to schedule a call to tackle this work, I would be happy to help you personally so that you can navigate this in two or three sessions.

This a reminder that the continual problem of disorganization isn’t about buying a better storage system but instead looking at the emotions of why it is continuing to happen. Be honest with yourself and write the answers down in a journal.

How do those emotions feed into this problem area of your home? What is it that you don’t want to see or feel? Find a way to focus on those emotions using self-care tools. You could incorporate simple activities that don’t cost money into your day. For example, reading a few pages of a book, drinking a cup of tea, or taking a walk. It’s when we feel that we are living in a place of abundance emotionally that we can then tackle that problem area of our home in an organized manner.

What self-care rituals will you put in place this week?

Ways to Reuse Packaging and Save MONEY!

Home Life, Minimalism

Are your Black Friday purchases beginning to arrive? Before throwing the packaging away, let’s reuse it once more. Mailer bags make great liners in small bathroom trash cans. And that paper invoice… fold it up and jot down your to-do list, grocery list, or a love note by the coffee machine.

With the random bits of paper that come into your life, it’s key to dedicate one area to house them. We have a drawer in our house, but a bin also works. Something in a prime location where you open mail to catch the paper that can be used again.

Let’s try to REUSE before we recycle.

Not only is this better for our planet, but it also can save you money and time. And I know I’d like more of both of those things (money and time) in 2023. How about you?

Changing Your Mind Isn’t Failure

Habit Change, Mindfulness, Minimalism, Wellness

I had every intention not to purchase any clothes in 2022, and I stated it publically.

The reasons why I wanted to do this were personal; no one was forcing me to do it, nor was it for financial reasons. I also wasn’t doing it to gain any attention. But I’m sure you already know that when you speak something out loud to other people, it gains momentum within yourself, and you are more inspired to continue for the simple reason that someone else knows what you are wanting to do.

I wouldn’t identify as someone who has a shopping problem. Each season, all of my clothes fit into a 4-foot wide by 2-foot depth closet. I haven’t spilled over into anyone else’s closets in our house, nor am I busting out of my own. I store two Rubbermaid bins in the attic and swap out seasonal items, but otherwise, I don’t feel like I have an excess.

I wanted to challenge myself to see how long I could go without purchasing clothes. Guess what? It wasn’t long before I caved and bought something.

I told myself many times throughout the year that I “needed” the item. And sometimes I did, whether because I gained weight or because I didn’t have something appropriate to wear to an event. But I didn’t “need” every item I purchased, and a few I regretted after the first time wearing it. What I learned along the way has been quite eye-opening, and I blogged about that here.

Other people’s reactions to the journey of my challenge has been even more interesting. People have asked me somewhat snarkily, “how does it feel to fail publically?” The thing is, I don’t consider it a failure because I learned so much this year about my spending habits but also, and most importantly, about my personal style. Learning what I like and don’t like, what colors look good with my skin tone, and the shapes of clothing and how it changes the perception of the actual shape of my body, etc. So yes, I spent money, and I didn’t complete what I had set out to do, but I’m okay with that. And you should be too!

Life happens! We may say that we are going to do one thing and have every intention to do that, but then something in our life changes, whether that be because our circumstances have changed or because we changed our minds. We didn’t know when making the goal how stress, sickness, or life changes were going to shift our radar. But it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t set goals or challenge ourselves.

More importantly, I worry about how people latch on to the word- failure. Trying, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, and learning is not a failure! When I was divorcing my ex-husband, I remember crying in a therapy appointment about feeling as though I failed at my marriage. My therapist clarified to me that divorce is not a failure. It’s two people moving in different directions. Similarly, when we set out to create a habit change at the beginning of the year, failure isn’t what we call trying, doing your best, and possibly changing your mind because what you thought would be a good idea turns out isn’t possible for you to complete this year. That’s okay! That is not failure.

Some may argue that the people who comment about your completion of a goal are just trying to hold you accountable. If you have someone in your life making you feel bad for not following through with what you said you would at the beginning of the year, that’s not accountability. That’s judgment! The best response is to be clear that you won’t tolerate that negativity, reminding them that you were doing this for yourself, maybe even for fun. And people judging your results is not motivating for anyone.

Maybe you are already thinking about a different goal for 2023. And I want to support you on that journey. Consider me your cheerleading squad! Share in the comments what you plan to focus on in 2023, and let’s hold each other up with love and support. And please join us in the virtual Refocus on Wellness group that meets on the first Monday of the month at 7 pm. We focus on living our best lives and supporting each other’s goals for a better future.

Mindful Consumption of Clothing

Minimalism

I’ve been conducting an experiment for myself this year, analyzing my relationship with shopping and clothing consumption. My spending on clothes is not extreme compared to others, but I felt the inner stirrings at the beginning of the year to look closer at my habits around shopping because, for me, it felt as though the clothes purchases had gotten out of hand. I had every intention not to purchase any clothes in 2022, but as I took daily outfit pictures on Instagram, I wasn’t liking what I saw reflected back to me on my grid.

Examples of outfits I don’t feel represent me as my best self.

As a yoga studio owner and someone who teaches yoga almost daily, it’s hard not to fall into the habit of wearing yoga pants and flowy cardigan-style wraps, along with the studio-branded t-shirt. I realized my clothing didn’t really represent who I wanted to present to the world. Yes, I teach yoga classes and have private personal training clients, but I also coach people throughout the week, and many of those folks are managing directors and division heads within a company. I had the hope of cultivating a more elevated fashion style for myself.

Examples of outfits that I want to continue cultivating.

It seems superficial to even think about all of this because bigger problems beyond what I wear are happening in the world. I know that. But how we present ourselves does matter, especially when you are running your own business. People make a decision about you in seven seconds. And though we like to believe that we aren’t judging a book by its cover, you and I both know we totally are! First impressions for most people are visual, and in those seven seconds, are you representing the best version of yourself?

All this is to say; I bought some clothes throughout the year. I don’t consider this a failure. But rather an adjustment to my own goal. The shift that took place for me with clothes shopping was that I was more mindful. I was intentional about what I purchased, keeping items only if I saw a need in my wardrobe or if they filled a gap that was missing. For example, I purchased several summer dresses. I didn’t have any and being the age I am, pre-menopause, I felt the need to have looser clothes during the humid Maryland summer weather.

In the past, I would only shop the sales rack, which would mean that I wouldn’t purchase what I truly wanted but would make a purchase because it was a great deal, or I’d save even more money if I bought two. I have learned through this experiment to let go of that shopping habit. Instead, I thoughtfully considered colors vs. patterns, brands I wanted to support, how often I’d wear the item and if I could sneak it into other seasons by adding leggings or a sweater.

As I became more mindful about my purchases, I saw how the same behavior around clothes shopping was trickling out into other aspects of my life. I did the same thing at the grocery store. I was a sucker for deals, coerced towards the Buy One Get One sign. This would result in a pantry stocked with food that either no one in the house wants to eat or it takes too long to get through, and folks get bored with eating it.

So I’ve allowed the new habit of being more mindful with clothes shopping to influence my grocery store behaviors by buying what we need, not necessarily buying only on sale. Asking myself what we will use the ingredient for in this week’s meal plan.

I’m not sure yet if I will continue this experiment into 2023. I don’t think I will set out to complete a “no buy year,” but maybe limit the number of items coming into my closet so that I can continue the practice of being intentional about my purchases. I enjoy the reflection and the growth that pushing my personal boundaries exposes me to. What about you? Are you contemplating changing your shopping habits in the new year?

Letting Go to Simplify this Season

Coaching, Minimalism

When we look to the seasons for cues, we can use their changes as a way to remind us to do our own self-reflection.

I’m not a believer in resolutions on one particular day, whether the start of the new year or a birthday, and instead, I prefer to look to the seasons as my guide for self-reflection. We are about to embark on fall, the leaves are beginning to change color, and eventually, they will fall to the ground.

Before we become overrun with pumpkin spice everything, let’s take a beat to think of what we need to let go of in our lives. Like the trees, letting their leaves fall to the ground, what can we release our grasp of this season to simplify and reduce clutter both mentally and physically? Maybe for some folks that will be simplifying routines or dinner meals. For others, it might be clearing clutter from the house so that you can focus and see what is important to you. Maybe it’s being honest with ourselves and moving away from the habits of overachieving or perfectionism, and allowing this season to be a time of ease.

Take a few moments today and think about what you need to let go of to prepare for the season ahead. Jot down a quick list and then move into action on one item. It might not be a one-time task and then it’s completed type of project. Schedule one-hour time slots on your calendar. Scheduling your action items on your calendar means that they become a priority rather than a forgotten goal. Whether cleaning out a closet or renewing your goal of meal prepping, put it on the calendar to hold yourself accountable. Schedule out a specific amount of time to do the task. We don’t have to complete it; we only need to move into action.

If, for example, on your list, you wrote down “clean out the attic.” A great project to do when the weather becomes cooler! Go up into the attic and tackle one area, purge, and organize. This system will give you a greater reward. When we give ourselves time to reflect on what we visually saw while doing our task, we will be less likely to continue to hoard or hold onto sentimental items.

If you are letting go of perfectionism or overachieving, schedule time for your self-care. Read a book, take a bath, watch a show while doing a face mask. Once we have the momentum of action for any of our goals, we will feel better about our progress and want to continue succeeding.

What can you release this fall? What do you no longer need in your life? Let’s move away from the goal mindset of having the task completed and finished and instead celebrate being in action. I look forward to hearing what you are releasing your grasp on this season.