seated meditation

We have all been through some version of feeling the blahs, whether about our job, the house we live in, or the person we are dating. It often begins with feelings of agitation or annoyance. A general state of dissatisfaction that we can’t quite put our finger on.

There are two very common directions that I see folks have gone in after they have come to me for life coaching because they still feel stuck. Guess what? Neither of these directions work!

The first path is to sweep in a different direction drastically. For example, quit the job, break off the relationship, or sell the house. The other approach is to become a zombie within your own life by not changing and keeping things exactly the same. When the underlining issues are not addressed people become angrier and resentful.

So how do we avoid going down either of those paths?

The concept is simple, but putting it into practice is harder than it appears. The answer is MEDITATION. Please don’t download an app. And I don’t want you to sign up for a meditation class or a 21-day challenge. I want you to try sitting with your eyes closed and notice your breathing for 2 minutes. Yes, two minutes, that’s it.

“But doesn’t meditating take longer than that?

No, it doesn’t have to. There are no rules about how to meditate or how long to do it. I believe in building things from the ground up so that you have a strong foundation for creating a new holistic habit in your life.

The hardest part of meditating is being with your own thoughts. What I like to call “sitting in the seat of observation” within yourself is an important step before making any changes in your life and is a wonderful way to prioritize your own self-care.

Begin with two minutes for week one.
Week 2, let’s double the time. Now we are at 4 minutes.
Week 3, let’s stay at 4 minutes.
Week 4, let’s double to 8 minutes.
Week 5, let’s stay at 8 minutes.
Week 6, let’s double it to 16 minutes.

We’ve reached our goal amount of time! Now let’s sustain it by continuing to sit for 16 minutes every day. Keep in mind that if any of the above time allotments seems challenging than stay at that time for another week. Creating this habit in your life may take longer than six weeks and that’s okay!

I find that if I schedule the time on my calendar, always around the same time, I am more successful in completing it. You don’t need a special chair or a cushion. You can sit in your car in the parking lot, on the edge of your bed after waking, or in your office chair with notifications silenced on your computer. The point is to be present in your body and with your thoughts. When we tune out the chaos and the distractions that are all around us when can focus on the underlining feelings that we are authentically having about the person or situation or the direction of our life.

Save the image below and print it out to keep a record of your success. Fill in a box for every day that you have meditated this month, whether it’s two minutes or sixteen. Remember, there is no “right way” to meditate. It truly is a simple practice yet one of the hardest things to put into action. But I believe in you! Keep me posted on your progress.

Sometimes we make things more complicated than they need to be. We create roadblocks for ourselves, without even realizing that we are doing it. Parameters or arbitrary rules in order to do something “correctly” or “right”.

I’ve seen this in so many of my coaching clients around healthy eating. In their minds, they tell themselves that they have to buy a certain kitchen appliance in order to eat healthier. Whether that be a new blender to make smoothies or a food processor to chop veggies. When in reality all you need is the right mindset around food. Choosing food in a more natural state rather than things wrapped in plastic and packaging and so far removed from the original. A baked potato vs a bag of baked potato chips, for example.

The same thing is true with a meditation practice. We don’t need to purchase a certain type of cushion to sit on or have a special alter in place. Of course, if you want to purchase those things for yourself as a gift that’s totally fine! But don’t, under any circumstances, think that you HAVE to have those things in order to have a meditation practice. All you have to do is be intentional with the time.

Meditation is simply sitting (or standing or walking). But right now let’s talk about seated meditation. You’ll want to be able to sit in a way that is comfortable for your body and does not cause pain. For some that is sitting cross-legged on a pillow or cushion for others it’s sitting in a chair. The posture is where our attention should be directed towards, you want to make sure that you can sit with your spine long to bring in the most oxygen into your body. When we are slumped forward or sitting with a rounded back relaxing into a sofa, we aren’t physically able to bring as much air into our lungs as we would if we were sitting straight with good posture.

The place in which you decide to sit doesn’t have magical power, it doesn’t make meditation easier and it will not get you to a place of nirvana in your mind any faster. We give physical items power, in our own mind, to believe that they have some sort of healing capability. If we were to dive a bit deeper into the “why” of this habit, I would guess that it’s a way to distract ourselves from starting something new like a meditation practice or it creates an obstacle or reasoning in your mind of why you can’t do your meditation practice because you don’t have the special seat/crystal/alter, etc. with you.

Teal chair with a small pillow. Next tothe chair is a small circular table with a plant on it and a stack of books. Above the chair is a painting that says "be bravely you"

This is a photo of where I practice my daily meditation. It’s a chair in the corner of my kitchen that faces the sliding glass door leading out into my backyard. I like the symbolism of opening my eyes from meditation and seeing nature. As you can imagine since this chair is in a communal place in the house it is not only used by me for meditation purposes only, I live with a wife and two teenagers and they sometimes sit in this chair at various times in the day or evening. My point is that you don’t need to have something solely for the use of meditation practice. Again, if you want something that is only used for your meditation practice that is fine. Personally, I prefer to live a minimalist lifestyle. Almost everything in my house needs to have more than one use or be used and enjoyed by more than one person. But the beautiful thing about meditation practice is that it can truly be done anywhere. In your kitchen, on the side of a cliff, in the driver seat of your car after you’ve parked. It is a practice that is available to you at any time. The hard part is actually setting aside the time to do it.

Start small and sit in a chair, that you already own, for two minutes every day. Set a timer and just sit with your eyes closed. Every day for one week sit at the same time each day. Allow your inner self to reveal it’s self to you. Pay special attention to how you feel, what you may have noticed about yourself. Do you feel calmer later in the day? Are you less likely to lash out or be snippy with your spouse? Once that feels comfortable in your body, increase your seated meditation to five minutes every day for one week. Think of this as a process of getting to know yourself. Your mind will not magically be a blank slate every time you close your eyes to meditate. Some days it will feel hard. Some days the five minutes will feel like an eternity and some days it will breeze by so fast. Simply sit in the seat of observation within yourself and breathe. Let go of your goal-oriented mind, there is nothing to achieve here other than sitting with your eyes closed and breathing for five minutes.

I’d love to hear where you have chosen to meditate and how it’s going for you in the comments!

When You Feel Stuck in Life – Prioritize Yourself!

We have all been through some version of feeling the blahs, whether about our job, the house we live in, or the person we are dating. It often begins with feelings of agitation or annoyance. A general state of dissatisfaction that we can’t quite put our finger on.

So how do we avoid going down either of those paths?

Meditation Made Easy

Sometimes we make things more complicated than they need to be. We create roadblocks for ourselves, without even realizing that we are doing it. Parameters or arbitrary rules in order to do something “correctly” or “right”.