Gretchen Schock

Are you being influenced by others?

Sitting in the seat of observation within yourself takes courage because it’s there where you can see a mirror shining back at you to see your own actions, missteps, and mistakes. This is a spiritual process.

Within many organized religions there is a dedicated day on the calendar that is reserved for atonement, making amends, and asking for forgiveness. In the sobriety and recovery worlds, this is Steps Eight and Nine. The symbolism connected to this process, whether for recovery or within your religious beliefs, is to inspire individuals to live a better life.

But we don’t need to wait for a particular day on the calendar. We don’t have to do Steps 1-7 before we take inventory of our life. We can sit in the seat of observation within ourselves at any time. The most important part of this process is to pull away from looking towards the outside world for acceptance and confirmation of our worth and instead look within yourself towards spirit. Take inventory of what is filling your social media feed on a daily basis. Are the images that appear in front of you making you feel good about yourself? Or are you looking at them and comparing your thighs to someone else’s, their organized, clean house to your living quarters, or their image of perfection to the ideas in your head of who you should be?

You are perfect, just as you are. Let go of the external energy that is not serving you to be your best self. And focus on the internal energy that is abundant within you. You are exactly where you are supposed to be!

I encourage you to take a moment today, regardless of your faith or sobriety, to sit in the seat of observation within yourself and look into the mirror shining back at you. Offer forgiveness and let go of that energy that is not serving you to be your best self.

Burn It to the Ground

Coaching, Mindfulness

This week in the Refocus on Wellness group, I asked this question, “what needs to be burned to the ground to make space for something new?”

Everyone who attended took a deep dive into vulnerability and was honest with themselves. Some folks mentioned needing to let go of other people’s expectations of them. They feel stressed out having to live up to some ridiculous ideal standard of themselves. Creating boundaries around work life and home life is a common theme among our members. It takes time to shift the mindset and lean into the belief that it’s okay that they can not be all things to all people. Others identified with the need to change their mindset around what their day should look like. And to allow room for more joy and time for spontaneous things to take place rather than being overscheduled.

One of the things for me that needs to be “burned down” is the entrepreneur hustle. I’m a “pull up your bootstraps and get back on that horse” type of girl. Some would say I’m resilient. But I’m also exhausted. My yoga studio was closed for 14 months due to the COVID-19 pandemic. I shifted to virtual classes immediately, teaching myself how to use zoom and create the best virtual environment for my clients with lighting, cameras, microphones, and internet speeds. We opened to in-person classes on May 10th, 2021, right when the rest of the world began to open its doors as well. So many of my clients put their memberships on hold to travel for the summer. Meanwhile, my rent was increased.

I’m exhausted from trying to keep my yoga studio afloat during the last year of the pandemic but also right now while I struggle to make ends meet.

I’m exhausted from pivoting.

So next week I’m taking a few days off from teaching yoga and seeing private clients. I rented a house on the water, and I’m going there by myself to write. I’m burning down the idea in my head that resilience is my superpower. Exhaustion is not healthy. Being overwhelmed is not a status symbol. Entrepreneurs who grind away their life on their work is not who I want to be.

I want to make room for my dream of finishing this book because I already have an idea for a second book that I’m excited to write.

What do you need to burn to the ground in order to make room for something new?

Gluten-free Strawberry Oatmeal Bars

Recipes

It was recently strawberry season here in Maryland, and this year rather than picking the strawberries myself, I ordered strawberries from a local farm, and they delivered them to my house.

When you pick them yourself, you have the visual in front of you to tell yourself that you have enough. Ordering online by the pound is dangerous. Especially if, like me, you have no idea really what a pound of strawberries looks like. Or 15 pounds, in my case. 🙂

My freezer is now filled with pre-portioned zip lock bags ready to make smoothies. And the surplus of strawberries gave me the opportunity to try some new recipes. These bars make a great snack or a healthier dessert.

Strawberry oatmeal bars on a plate with a fork

Preheat oven to 375F.

Ingredients

1 cup Quick Oats
1 cup Almond Flour
1/3 cup Sugar
6 Tablespoons Butter, melted (I used a plant-based butter, and it was great)
1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
1 Egg
1/4 cup Milk (I used almond milk)
1 cup Strawberries, diced
1/4 cup Almond Flour, sprinkled and pressed into the top.

Instructions

Oil an 8×8 baking pan or use waxed paper as a liner with the edges hanging off to use as handles to lift the bars out of the pan.
In a bowl, combine all the dry ingredients first (minus the 1/4 cup of almond flour) and then add the wet ingredients and stir until completely combined.
Pour into the pan and press into place.
Sprinkle the remaining 1/4 cup of almond flour across the top of the mixture and press into the mixture.
Bake the bars for 50 minutes until the crumb topping smells toasty and looks golden.
Remove from oven and place on a wire rack to cool before cutting the bars up.

Make 16 bars.

Chickpea Quesadilla

Recipes

Trying to eat a more plant-based diet?

This vegetation recipe can easily be converted to vegan and will easily satisfy your meat-loving friends and family.

My kids are not the most adventurous eaters. It’s often hard to incorporate plant-based recipes into their diet unless it looks exactly like the meat version. But the Chickpea Quesadillas were a huge hit! For the adults we served it with a side salad, for the kids, we added a cooked vegetable that they will tolerate.

Chickpea Quesadilla served with a side salad

4 servings

Ingredients:

2 (15-ounce) cans garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed
1 tablespoon avocado oil
1 small onion, diced
1 TB. minced garlic
½ teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon ground turmeric
salt and pepper
4 tortillas
1/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese per serving
2 tablespoons of sour cream per serving
3 tablespoons of salsa per serving

Directions:

Heat diced onion with oil in a pan until translucent.
Chop garbanzo beans in a food processor until mushy but not puréed if you do not have a food processor use a potato masher and a large bowl.
Add beans to onions in a pan on medium heat and stir consistently.
Add remaining spices to the bean mixture.
Season with salt and pepper and serve in a tortilla with 1/4 cup of shredded cheese per serving. Top with sour cream and salsa, and enjoy!

How to Emerge with Intention After the Covid-19 Pandemic

Mindfulness

The world is opening up around us. Maybe you are wrestling with how and when you will emerge. Or what it will look like for you and your family.

As we become braver with venturing out into the world, I encourage you to return to the places where you felt safe before the pandemic—the places where it felt like a second home. Where you felt like you belonged. Rather than jumping back into your pre-pandemic life and going full swing into the over-scheduled calendar for your family. Take a beat and think about what you want your life to look like going forward.

Do you want actually to return to the grocery store aisles?
Is spending time in your car in rush hour traffic speaking joy to you?
Think back to over a year ago; where did you retreat to when you needed a break from your busy life?

Was it your local yoga studio or gym? Was it a dinner date with a friend? Was it inviting friends over for dinner or going to the movies? Go to these places first!

We need community. We need to share space again. And it’s best if you try it now, while others are slowly venturing out too. But be particular about where and with whom you spend your time. Don’t fall into the trap of going back to your previous way of living. We all just had a challenging year, and there were lessons we learned along the way. Let’s not lose sight of them.

It’s time to return to the world outside of our homes, especially if you are vaccinated. Don’t wait too long to make this transition, or else the coming out into the world will feel overwhelming. Those spaces that you love will become busier as everyone else becomes brave with venturing out of their cocoons. Take a pause and move forward into your life with intention. Breathe. The first time you venture out into the world doesn’t have to be a “confetti falling from the sky” moment. It can simply be a Monday night yoga class or a coffee date at an outdoor cafe. Listen to the voice within you and go slow. There is no need to rush. But the time has come to move forward. So, where will you go first?

Abandon Privilege to See the Undercurrent of Fear

Mindfulness

I’ve been conducting a social experiment.

Gretchen at bee yoga fusion staring into the camera wearing fashionable glasses and blonde spiky hair

My yoga studio, Bee Yoga Fusion, is located in the suburbs outside of Washington DC. Nestled in the town center of historic Old Greenbelt, the studio is located above the local credit union bank and the door to the studio is next to the ATM machine. Since COVID began in March 2020 most of the businesses continue to be shut down. I am going to the studio to do virtual classes but people aren’t hanging out in the town and it feels a bit eerie.

If someone is at the ATM when I approach the studio, their back is to me and it feels a bit awkward to come up behind them and go to the door. I know that if I was in their shoes it would be a trauma trigger for me, I have been attacked and mugged.

So when I see someone there I first shake my keys as I approach and then I say the same line to every person regardless of their appearance of gender or race.

“Hello! I’m just going to the door over here.” Then I put my key in the door, look back at them and smile and say “I didn’t want to scare you.” Same two lines, delivered exactly the same every time. The response is what is interesting.

Women: regardless of race hold their purses closer to their bodies when I shake my keys and ALL of them take a deep exhale when I look back at them and smile. They ALL say “Thank you”. Maybe with a compliment on my hair or glasses.

Black men: their backs visibly stiffen when I shake my keys and it isn’t until I smile back at them that they relax their posture. They too always say “Thank you”. And typically tell me to “Have a good day” or “God Bless”.

White men: have no visible change when I shake my keys. When I look back at them and smile and deliver my second line it’s mind-blowing how many times I have heard this response, “What, are you going to attack me?” (Sarcastic laugh) “Or put COVID on me?”

I was (and am) fully aware of white privilege but what this truly showed me is the undercurrent of fear that lives in women and black men on a daily basis that just doesn’t exist for white men.

I’m taking this knowledge and continuing to teach my (white) sons how to exist in the world by being more compassionate and aware of this undercurrent of fear that is fully alive in other people. I am not teaching my sons to fear someone coming up from behind them or to fear people at all. But rather to be compassionate towards others when they are approaching someone from behind regardless if it’s a woman, man, non-binary person, and regardless of race.

Women are taught by their parents at an early age to be mindful of being attacked. Typically when they learn to drive, with how to protect themselves with their keys. Some parents may buy their daughter mace to carry in her purse. Protecting yourself is taught and rehearsed. Are some men taught this too? Sure. The majority…no.

Black children are taught by their parents how to interact with the police. What to do if they are pulled over. Taught how to move, what to say. Phone numbers memorized in their heads. Are some white children taught this? Maybe. The majority…absolutely not.

I want my (white) sons to be aware of these differences and to go out into the world and lean into empathy and compassion rather than following the standard path laid out before them because they are white men. And I hope in doing so this will ripple out a small change within future generations. Will you join me?