From October until now, I have been nursing an appendix issue. I have not been able to exercise the way that I normally would. I want to be really honest with you. I have been eating my feelings: the worry, the anxiety, the stress. I knew what I was doing when I was doing it. All of my other vices are gone, and so I fell on the remaining and easy one- too much eating!
(PS- Those vices I’m referring to, for those that don’t know, I’ve been sober for ten years.) To get you up to speed on the appendix- check out this post. It ruptured, but surgery didn’t happen until five months later.
Weight gain is a tricky ride for me because I’m wearing legging most days, teaching yoga and fitness classes, so I can’t hide in my clothing. And I know that people look up to me as an example of healthy living. But rather than falling into my common response of self-deprecating behaviors due to my body dysmorphia over the weight gain. Or jumping into a new diet or cleanse. Instead, I bought a bigger size of clothing. Yes, I now own these same pants in two sizes.
This isn’t a plea for “you look great” comments. Because I know I look great. I also know that an additional fifteen pounds doesn’t define my worth. It doesn’t diminish my value to my relationships, community, or clients. This post is to remind YOU of that.
Life happens! People get sick, and something stressful takes place that throws you off your plan of eating healthy and working out. And rather than diving headfirst into a marketing gimmick that promises fast results, instead, fall into a surrender of reframing it in your mind.
It took me five months to put on fifteen pounds. It’s going to take five months to take it off! Magic wand results only happen with a scalpel. Remember that!
So buy the next size up in clothing.
Feel confident in the clothing that you are wearing on the body that you are toting around. Don’t wait until you reach some magic number on the scale. That number doesn’t represent who you are, nor is it truly motivating for lasting change.
So what am I doing? Well, per the doctor’s instructions, I’m still not allowed to do anything but walk. So I’m walking. I’m also eating more salads and vegetables and drinking water. Once I get the okay from the doctor, I’ll slowly increase my fitness regime. But the real work is happening internally. I’m giving myself grace. And I’m reminding myself to ease back in.
I hope this message reaches the person that needs to hear it. Give yourself grace! Eat more veggies, move your body more today than you did yesterday, and drink half of your weight in ounces of water. (If you weigh 150 lbs, drink 75 ounces of water a day) Ease into the changes that you know will make you healthier going forward. I believe in you!